GOAL!
BVI
RELEASED 30 September 2005
Football movies don’t exactly spring to mind as a successful genre. The best-known attempts (Bend it Like Beckham, Escape to Victory, Fever Pitch) all use football as a crutch. ‘Bend it Like Beckham’ was a comedy, ‘Escape to Victory’ was a boys-own adventure, and ‘Fever Pitch’ was a rom-com. Even ‘Green Street’, filmed at West Ham’s ground, isn’t really about football but rather the nasty side of hooliganism, something ‘Goal!’ definitely has no interest in. There has never really been a big movie solely about football itself and how it can change people’s lives. The producers of ‘Goal!’ have spent three years enlisting the full support of FIFA, global sponsors, and Newcastle United FC to bring to the screen the best representation of what it’s like to be involved in ‘the beautiful game’. You won’t find any sleazy tabloid stories or transfer scandals here - this is all about the positive side of football.
Illegal aliens Santiago (Kuno Becker) and his brother, father, and grandmother have been in America since he was a young boy. His life’s passion is football, playing for the local LA team while working in restaurant kitchens. Nothing will stop him playing, even resorting to cardboard for shin pads when he one day forgets his own. When former football star and sometime scout Glen Foy (Stephen Dillane) spots him playing, Foy urges Santiago to join him in Newcastle where he promises a trial for Newcastle United. Santiago’s father doesn’t believe in dreams, and the air fare will take plenty of saving, but what Santiago doesn’t realise is that getting to Newcastle is the easy bit - playing for one of the biggest clubs in the world is the true test.
Three things stand out after watching ‘Goal!’. Firstly, the story is very predictable. There are no surprises here. It’s the narrative equivalent of the long-ball game - you can see it coming every time. Barriers blocking Santiago’s path, such as asthama, resentful old players, and late-night clubs fall away quicker than you can shout ‘referee!’. There are a few questionable plot points (why does Santiago not try out for a smaller club?) but these have no real importance.
Secondly, the script is great. It brilliantly captures the ‘Toon’ sense of humour, which is all down to veteran scribes Dick Clement and Ian La Frenais, responsible for classics like ‘Auf Wiedersehen, Pet’, ‘Porridge’ and ‘The Likely Lads’, which themselves all featured football in memorable episodes over the years. It obviously helps that La Frenais is originally from Newcastle. Big name signing Gavin Harris, a striker, has a penchant for late nights and this isn’t missed by the fans, who tell him he’s ‘shite’ at every available opportunity. Minor gems like ‘you’re from from LA? You know Charlize Theron?’ and a joke about everyone drinking from a young age keep up the good humour.
Finally, ‘Goal!’ looks fantastic. I seriously doubt whether the city of Newcastle has ever been filmed this well before. The coastline is all rolling waves, sea spray and dramatic landscapes - ‘Lord of the Rings’ Peter Jackson will be filming there next! St James Park itself looks huge, a true cathedral to football. Newcastle is portrayed as a vibrant, exciting place to live with passionate people. Clever lighting brings a photo-shoot look to every actor, and this makes perfect sense when you know that the director, Danny Cannon, is executive producer of the glossy ‘CSI’ TV series. He has perfectly visualised the football ‘dream’. Even a training session in thick mud and pouring rain looks glamorous!
Kuno Becker is the star of the show, and he brings lovely warmth and desire to the role of Santiago. He also looks uncannily like Robbie Williams, which won’t do his career any harm. The supporting cast is made up of proven talent, with Alessandro Nivola, Stephen Dillane, and Anna Friel all doing a sterling job. Some unexpected acting comes from Alan Shearer, who gets a nice little comedy moment, and David Beckham imparts some advice to our young striker. His acting is fine, and even the voice doesn’t grate too much, but I swear he had half an inch of make-up on his face. Real Madrid team-mates Zidane and Raul had no such foundation foul-ups. As for Sven Goran Errickson, well...
Something I haven’t touched on yet, which is probably the most important aspect of the movie, is of course the football. I’ll start by saying the football looks great, most of the footage is obviously shot at genuine games, and the way the special effects people have merged Santiago and Harris into the real play is faultless. You wouldn't know they weren’t playing in front of 50,000 fans. The thing is, because of the blurring between fact and fiction (primarily Alan Shearer), a problem arises. When it comes to free kicks and penalties, Shearer is nowhere to be seen. But in real life he takes them all. So there’s a problem.
Another problem is more serious. The football isn’t long enough, nor is it exciting. None of the moves or goals have any poetry to them. They lack the adreneline of even the simplest Premiership goals. Whether this is because of too much editing and too many ‘dream-type’ goals I’m not sure, but it’s a weakness of the film. You’d have to admit though, is it possible to equal a live match on film? Perhaps it isn’t.
These minor criticisms aside, ‘Goal!’ has broad appeal, and it's good fun. I’ve always thought sports films are very hard to do because of the unpredictability of sport. Classics like ‘Raging Bull’ and ‘Rocky’ work because they’re not so much about the results as the struggle to get there. The struggle is the film, the result is somewhat irrelevant. ‘Goal!’ strikes a perfect balance between achieving your dream and revelling in the beauty of football.
THREE OUT OF FIVE