TRANSPORTER 2

FOX

RELEASED 25 November 2005

Jason Statham once again plays the ex-Special Forces operative Frank Martin, who’s retired in Miami and driving for a wealthy family, ferrying their young son around. When the boy falls into the hands of the bad guys, Martin must use all his skills to bring him to safety and discover the kidnapper's master plan.

I didn’t see ‘Transporter’ but I can tell you ‘Transporter 2’ has one of the worst scripts of the year, the worst acting, the worst plot, and the worst special effects. BUT... the action is good, in a choreographed manner that is a cross between Jackie Chan and The A-Team. Frank has a bomb under his car, so does he leap out? No, he spins the car into a mid-air 360 barrel roll past a crane which hooks the bomb from the underside of the car. Frank has to fight a handful of baddies with only a fire hose. Does he simply knock them all out? No, he elaborately whips the hose around each villian and then turns it on, so that each enemy is gripped tight (which doesn’t make much sense, but if you saw it, you’d understand.) Frank is being shot at. Does he leap out of the way? No, he merely ‘dodges’ the bullets. Yes, he’s that good.

‘Transporter 2’ actually plays like a parody of an action movie, but without the sense of humour. I laughed at the movie a couple of times, but this is desperate stuff. Jason Statham plays a rubbish hard man who isn’t kidding anyone. Everyone else is rubbish too. The female assassin who spends the entire movie in underwear and red high heels firing dual machine guns looks funny, but is still rubbish. Only the fight choreography saves this from being utterly worthless. So Cory Yuen, fight choreographer, take a bow. You’re not rubbish.

ONE OUT OF FIVE