IT MUST BE VERY FRUSTRATING for the global warming scaremongers that we have just experienced the coldest winter for thirty, or possibly 100 years if this continues. The only disaster I predict is that the government’s green taxes will leave us all destitute and unable to afford to keep ourselves warm during the coming Ice Age. Have you noticed how ‘experts’ and ministers now craftily refer to Climate Change, instead of the questionable Global Warming? It is interesting to note that the Met Office has stated that the recent cold snap had nothing to do with climate change – but is part of the normal ebb and flow of local weather.
The Eco-Warriors who invaded the UN Climate Change Conference in Copenhagen looked strangely familiar! Could these be the same demonstrators who fought with police in London during the G7 Conference back in the summer – or even those taking part in the Poll Tax riots, unleashing mindless violence against the Thatcher government? If they are not one and the same, then there must be a casting agency supplying these woolly-hatted, unwashed support artistes (as film extras are now called). Their freedom of mobility suggests that they have no permanent employment and are therefore living and loving happily on benefits provided by the very establishment they so despise. It is easy for them to adopt their lofty principles when the rest of us mugs are being squeezed dry to support them. It’s highly likely they don’t pay taxes, so it won’t be their contributions that go towards reducing so-called man made carbon emissions, about which they feel so strongly.
Even if what they were protesting against was a just and proven cause, these anti-social oddities would not receive my blessing or sympathy. There has to be more intelligent ways of presenting an argument than throwing bricks through windows and climbing trees. So my advice to the Eco-Warriors is go home and wash, put on a clean set of clothing and get yourselves some worthwhile paid employment. Then, presuming you are as intelligent as you would have us believe, you could join in this important debate and your contribution might even be significant. And you will also have the satisfaction of knowing that your own money is going to a good cause.
NO DOUBT FOR THOSE passengers trapped on EuroStar trains in the Channel tunnel just before Christmas, it must have been a most unpleasant experience, as well as being highly inconvenient. Engineers worked feverishly around the clock to identify the problem and relieve the discomfort of those on board.
But to hear the reaction of some of the passengers who eventually arrived back at St. Pancras, you would have thought they had spent six months in a Nazi death camp, or had witnessed a tsunami of epic proportion. “It was disgraceful, we were left without food or water” they screamed into the nearest TV camera. This accusation turned out to be an exaggeration because it was confirmed that there had been adequate refreshments available, but in the way of these things, they were greedily devoured in the first hour, like locusts invited to a free buffet. Watching these ‘survivors’ made me angry, as they milked the moment for their fifteen minutes of TV fame. Did they have no idea how their parents and grandparents’ generation had really suffered during World War 2? Could they not imagine what it must have been like to emerge from an air raid shelter at dawn, to discover their home completely demolished and all their worldly possessions with it? Not for them a full refund, free return tickets and £150 compensation. Just the overwhelming relief that they had survived another night.
Some of these travellers were returning from Disneyland, where of course everything works like magic and a world away from reality. They were fortunate to have the money and the opportunity to start their Christmas holidays early, when most of the country was still at work and many unsure they would still have jobs in the new year. This also got me wondering if the moaners were so perfect in their own day-to-day lives and never give any cause for criticism? Whatever happened to British stoicism, the stiff upper lip – take it on the chin attitude and the Blitz spirit from our proud past?
. . . continuing on the same theme, the first week in January saw flights suspended or delayed at most of our airports because of extreme weather conditions and many travellers were stranded inside departure lounges. Fortunately I was not among them, but even so, I couldn’t ignore the usual impatient, selfish, to-hell-with-everyone-else attitude of the Brit who was going on holiday to Cuba and was using the TV cameras to castigate the Gatwick authorities for subjecting him to a miserable send-off.
Had I been there, I would have left him in no uncertainty how grateful and relieved I was that those responsible for flight safety were putting all passengers interests first, rather than his Cuban holiday. I would certainly not have felt comfortable boarding an aircraft with its wings iced up and its control lines seized solid by the extreme temperature – just so that one selfish, uncaring Brit could get away on holiday. He is probably one of those drivers who flash past as you cautiously negotiate icy roads or dense fog on the motorway, so he can reach home early to browse through his holiday brochures.
There are times when I’m ashamed to be British – and this was one of them. No wonder the Aussies refer to us as Whingeing Poms.
SUB-ZERO TEMPERATURES, snow and ice throughout December and into January have made this the coldest winter for possibly 100 years. The Global Warming doom-mongers are frantically re-writing their scripts in order to maintain some credibility. Meanwhile, my very expensive Mediterranean plants and shrubs that I planted following their advice, have been decimated. If there are any lessons to be learned in this life, it’s don’t take any notice of self-proclaimed experts, or politicians. They only end up costing you money.
WELL DONE Bexley Council for keeping the main roads and many secondary roads clear during the icy spell. However, the refuse collectors have become a rare sighting since the week before Christmas – with no explanation!
ON CHRISTMAS DAY an attempt was made to explode a device on an aircraft in mid-air over the USA, which fortuitously failed. It bothers me how so many terrorists have a UK connection through so-called places of learning. There was a time when we were proudly recognised for our engineering, medical and scientific expertise all over the world. Now we export terrorism. My perfect solution to airport security which would do away with long delays caused by scans and body searches, is that all passengers should fly naked. After all, as the saying goes – “if you’ve nothing to hide . . . . .”
MY NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION was NOT to make a resolution. We face enough restrictions in our daily lives without imposing additional burdens upon ourselves.
SO THE COUP to oust the Prime Minister fizzled out before it could properly ignite. Personally I had no enthusiasm for this token gesture, because I would much prefer to see the whole damn lot of them removed from office. Not that the alternative is particularly appealing, mind you. But let’s face facts; even if Gordon Brown goes, we are still left with a discredited bunch of ministers and their cronies.
That toady Jack Straw, hapless Bob Ainsworth, duplicitous Peter Mandelson, the deceptively ambitious Alan Johnson, the overtly ambitious Ed Balls, lack-lustre Alistair Darling, the Macbethian Hags, Harman, Becket and Jowell, Tory turncoat Shaun Woodward, the pathetic Phil Woolas (publicly humiliated by Joanna Lumley), the immature Milliband brothers and the quite deluded ‘Veggie’ Benn.
Do you honestly believe that any one of these would serve the country any better than the clunking fist of Gordon Brown?
REGULAR READERS are aware that I don’t believe in God and am not religious in the conventional sense. I am however a great admirer of the Archbishop of York, Dr. John Sentamu – a Ugandan by birth. So much of what he says makes very good sense, unlike most other senior churchmen. Yet I have to take issue with that part of his Christmas Message that suggests when we are sitting on the sofa tucking into the chocolates, we should be thinking of those who made them and the farmer who produced the cocoa beans. We should also spare a thought for the places in the world where injustice is rife and poverty unchecked. These are most admirable sentiments to which we should all aspire, but highly unlikely after suffering from over-indulging on a second helping of turkey, plum pudding, mince pies and copious glasses of wine. It’s as unlikely as the myth that teenage mothers lay back and think only of getting a council flat, during the act of procreation!
THE U.S. PRESIDENT sends an additional 30,000 combat troops to Afghanistan and is awarded the Nobel Peace Prize in the same week. Please say it’s not ME who is going mad?
ASKING PERSONAL QUESTIONS and filling in forms has become something of a national preoccupation. Recently I attended the Prosthetic Dentistry Department of a London teaching hospital and prior to physical examination and treatment, I was subjected to an intensive question and answer session. My inquisitor was a sweet young Korean fourth year dentistry student. Looking back, I feel she might have found me strange and intimidating as she struggled to complete the comprehensive list on her clip board.
One of the questions that lasted far longer than intended, was when she asked me if I smoked? Without hesitation I answered “yes”. This seemed to shock her tender sensibilities, especially when she learned that I smoked a pipe, which was completely beyond her comprehension. She doggedly pursued this line of inquiry: “What is this – er – you say pipe?” Well I’d never been called upon to describe this instrument of dubious pleasure before and did my best to paint a mental picture for her, although she became visibly flustered when attempting to place a tick in the appropriate box.
She did not leave it at that though. Her fascination with my smoking implement knew no bounds, which had me wondering if the temptations of tobacco had not yet reached Korea? “What is it you put into this – er – you say, pipe?” I explained it was a special tobacco, but she couldn’t get beyond confusing this with cigarette smoking, which I personally detest.
“How many do you smoke a week?” she inquired. This confused me somewhat because I don’t keep a tally as it’s not like getting through so many packs of ciggies. She pressed me to equate my pipe smoking with how many cigarettes this would be and called in some of her overseas colleagues, who gathered around me as if I was a cross between a freak and a celebrity.
At this point, time was getting on and I was now losing the will to live – wishing like hell that twenty minutes earlier I had blatantly lied and said “no – I don’t smoke”.
WHAT DID I DREAD most in the days following Christmas? NO – not Swine Flu, not Climate Change, not even Iran’s build up of nuclear capability. What really terrified me was the prospect of a new batch of mobile telephones given as presents and about to hit the streets and shopping malls. The mobile telephone is twenty five years old this year. Forgive me if I don’t celebrate!
WHEN ASKED TO NAME the guests, past or present, that I would most like to entertain to dinner, I have no hesitation in choosing the first Duke of Wellington, Isambard Kingdom Brunel, and Winston Churchill. Among those I certainly would NOT want at my table, would include Tony Blair, Elton John and Prince Edward. Please don’t ask me to explain!
PENSIONERS are to receive a £2.40 increase this year. This will need to be spent wisely and I suggest you contact your MP for advice on what can be purchased from the John Lewis List for this amount? On second thoughts, don’t bother. I expect as usual Bexley Council will be gobbling-up this modest increment – and more, in increased Council Tax, to pay for their own officials’ gold-plated pensions.
THE QUEEN is to be required to carry documents proving her identity. Naturally this proposal has come in for some criticism, but then it might not be as ridiculous as it seems. Immigration officers are now more likely to recognise an East Enders’ actor, or
X-Factor winner passing their desk, than their more remote Monarch.
FINAL THOUGHT . . . . now that Jonathan Ross has quit the BBC, will this mean a substantial reduction in the Licence Fee?