IN JANUARY I REPORTED that I had been caught on camera exceeding the speed limit by just 8mph and was ‘invited’ to attend a £95 Speed Awareness Workshop, as an alternative to penalty points on my driving licence. There were forty of us ‘criminals’ in attendance and not one boy racer among us. In fact, the group appeared to be normal law-abiding middle-aged citizens, of both sexes. The workshop was put on by a private company (DriveTech) and staffed by driving instructors, who I assumed were boosting their earnings with some extra-curricular activity. I calculated that our group alone brought in almost £4,000 for the couple of hours we were there and that the day’s takings would have amounted to around £12,000; what could be termed as ‘a nice little earner.’ These workshops are held all around the country every day of the week, so you can imagine the colossal revenue received from us hapless victims. In fact 2.1 million drivers were prosecuted for speeding in the UK last year. I did ask if I could purchase shares in the company, but this request was promptly ignored.
We were shown a film of a police driver colliding with a cardboard cut-out figure at different speeds and the varying degree of damage caused upon impact. All very basic and perhaps necessary when directed at those who are deliberately reckless, but wasted I believe on experienced drivers, who in normal circumstances take great care not to collide with stationery objects, cardboard or otherwise. It appeared to us that those who consciously break the law so often escape justice and that our particular age group is an easy target for the cash-gobbling cameras that arguably contribute very little towards road safety.
I suspect that DriveTech may have links with the ACPO (Association of Chief Police Officers), who have formed themselves into an £18 million a year private company (Road Safety Support Ltd.), partly funded by government grant and also from selling its services to independent organisations and public bodies. Some quite lucrative salaries are paid to its directors, who just happen to be serving or retired senior police officers, whilst also drawing their regular police pay and pensions. What I find particularly nauseating is that the former chairman of its road safety group has himself been banned from driving after being caught speeding at 90 mph in a 60 mph zone. And this same hypocritical senior officer had been campaigning to have all speed cameras sneakily hidden away from public view. I only wish he had been present on the afternoon I was being lectured about my 38 mph.
Let me clearly acknowledge that in the hands of irresponsible drivers a motor vehicle can be a lethal weapon and these people must be removed from the roads for their own safety and the safety of others. There obviously has to be speed regulations, but I’m far from convinced the authorities are going about this in a most effective and fair way. At the moment, it is no more than a random lottery, where many proficient and responsible drivers have become soft targets.
I later read in the national press that our money goes towards the private fortune of a former Thames Valley traffic cop and his wife, who received a dividend from DriveTech last year of £1.3 million. Can you blame me for being cynical? This racket absolutely stinks of collusion among the ‘Boys in Blue’ at senior level and should be investigated in the same way as cowboy wheel clampers. If the police wish to maintain their integrity and public trust, they must disassociate themselves from this despicable and blatant commercial scam, NOW.
FOR MANY LONG-SUFFERING shoppers who’s blood pressure rises as they queue patiently at the understaffed check-outs, customers of Sainsbury’s will no doubt welcome the news that they are to open 200 in-store GP surgeries. As well as giving shoppers something to do while they continue to wait, they will now be able to have their increased stress level and blood pressure monitored by the time they eventually reach the till to pay.
IMAGINE HOW Morgan Tsvangirai, the Prime Minister of Zimbabwe must have felt, having survived a horrific road accident in which his wife Susan was killed and waking up in his hospital bed to see his arch-rival President Mugabe looming large over him. This must have been even more terrifying than the crash itself.
THE TENTACLES OF the politically-correct brigade have extended to that most basic and essential ingredient of British life – its sense of humour. We’ve always had the ability to laugh at ourselves, from the Hogarth Cartoons, through two world wars, the Irish ‘troubles’, Private Eye’s biting satire and newspaper cartoonists pricking the pomposity of those who rise above their station.
Now its not only factory workers, shop workers and junior bankers who fear for their jobs. We should spare a thought for those comedians who make a living poking fun at seaside landlady’s, mothers-in-law, Paddy’s and Paki’s, Jews and Gentiles and any stories which involve an Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman. Frank Carson, a frequent visitor to our borough, and arguably the funniest Irish comedian of his generation, has stated that throughout his long career he’s never yet managed to offend anyone and in fact, the Irish have always had an inbred ability to laugh at themselves.
Who, for example, could take offence at a waiter asking Paddy if he would like his pizza cut into four or six portions – and Paddy replying “make it four, I couldn’t possibly eat six? I’ve told a similar version many times myself, where an English dimwit in a pub is served with a whole pork pie. He asks to have it cut into just four portions, saying “I’m late for work and haven’t time for six!” As yet, no Englishman has issued me with a writ, but I can’t be sure any more, now that the PC zealots have taken over the asylum. As a nation, we are most definitely finished if we allow our humour genes to be removed by those unable to see the joke.
THE EXCUSE GIVEN for paying huge sums of money to bankers, is that it is necessary to prevent them taking jobs abroad. May I suggest in future then, paying them a lot LESS and hope they clear off to ruin someone else’s economy!
THE MORE I HEAR about greedy bankers, politicians, Whitehall mandarins and local authority officials, all robbing us dry, the more sympathetic I have become to releasing Ronnie Biggs from prison. His crime doesn’t look half as bad now.
HARRIET HARMAN’S suggestion that Sir Fred Goodwin would be judged by “The Court of Public Opinion” got me thinking. If such a mythical body existed, then the first defendants to appear in the dock would surely be some of her own colleagues, on a charge of misappropriation of public money and gross incompetence. Her old boss Tony Blair would head the list of accused, for committing us to a war against Iraq that almost no-one wanted. The present Home Secretary would be facing prosecution for dissembling over her true place of residence. And if public opinion really counted for anything, we would still have the death penalty, corporal punishment, realistic prison sentences and a more robust policy regarding immigration. The fact is, most senior politicians cease to be interested in public opinion, once they have reached high office.
THE HEAVY SNOWFALL in February also got me thinking! I wonder how much longer children will be allowed to build WHITE snowMEN before being forcibly sent on a diversity and equality course?
YOU HAVE HEARD me say many times how the decline of our industrial based society and its increased reliance on banking, finance and insurance to support the economy, is fraught with danger. And I have long questioned how a society can survive without its people getting their hands dirty by actually manufacturing goods and growing produce that can be sold and exported, rather than moving digits around on a computer screen? Well now we have seen the answer – IT CAN’T.
IT’S GOING TO TAKE a cleverer person than I to suggest a way out of the mess the Royal Mail finds itself in. And I believe it is going to take a wiser government than the present one to rescue it from the partly self-inflicted mire in which it wallows. There have been a number of aborted attempts over the years to drag it into the 21st century, but these have been thwarted by self-serving politicians, rabble-rousing trades unionists and greedy bosses – each with their own agenda.
Throughout history, in times of war, civil strife (and in Hollywood Westerns), ‘the mail must get through’ has always been the cry, although in recent times its importance has taken a bit of a beating from the increase in electronic transmission; from faxes to E-mails and mobile texting. Communications are the lifeblood of an organised society and must be kept flowing through the arteries of the nation, whatever the cost. The dearth of profit and a near £9 billion deficit in its pension fund suggests that this cannot continue without radical change and that any such change must not be allowed to be hijacked by those with vested interests in the status quo. As I said, I certainly don’t have answers to this very complex problem, but the sooner we engage in a non-political debate to thrash out a modernised system, the better for all concerned. Especially the 450,000 employees who are about to see their pensions decimated and jobs disappear. It will be interesting to see who’s head eventually appears on British Postage Stamps in the future?
PENSIONERS are confused and bemused by the mysterious world of finance. Their generation was urged to buy only what they could afford, avoid debt and to put something away for a rainy day. In a word once popular with our present Prime Minister – to exercise prudence. We once poured scorn on those who ‘lived for today’ and squandered their money on a hedonistic lifestyle. “They will live to regret it one day” they were admonished. But paradoxically this is no longer the case; those who lived the good life and took out huge loans they couldn’t possibly afford to repay are now being supported (even encouraged) and the pensioners who lived by the rule of prudence are unjustly penalised.
The dramatic fall in interest rates has played into the hands of those with a spend, spend, spend mentality, whilst those who have worked and saved all their lives now see their meagre nest eggs disappearing and their income slashed to poverty level. Yet they still face ever-increasing costs of gas, electricity, water, council tax, insurances and all the other necessities of life. It’s the feckless gamblers who appear to have come off best. As I’ve often stated, who said that life was fair?
I EXPECT you are eagerly awaiting the announcement that due to the credit crunch and collapse of interest rates on savings, Bexley Council is to freeze its Council Tax for pensioners? Sorry – I’m only joking!
A REPORT THAT BLOCKBUSTER – the film rental company, is facing difficulties will be particularly worrying for the Starlight Children’s Foundation, being its biggest supporter and benefactor. Starlight is a charitable organisation run mostly by volunteers and does invaluable work in brightening the lives of seriously and terminally ill children. It receives no funding from government or the Lottery, relying entirely on donations from well-wishers.
I cannot overstate the difference it makes to these very sick children and their families. It arranges for them to meet their real-life heroes, stars of entertainment and sport, visits to fire stations, military bases, a film set, or a Grand Prix racing team, where they get ‘hands-on’ experience for a day. And some of the more mobile children have been sent to Disneyland or the Grand Canyon, for a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Starlight also organises bedside entertainment in every children’s hospital and hospice throughout Britain and supplies Distraction Boxes containing toys, puzzles and games that helps to take their minds off the fear and painful treatment they receive. Happy children respond better to treatment and Starlight helps them to briefly forget their illness and have fun, where it is possible.
Last year it helped 500,000 sick children in hospitals and hospices throughout the UK, and currently has around 400 on its Wish List, waiting for funding. So you can see how the loss of Blockbuster’s financial support will be such a tragedy, not just for the company, but also for the many sick children who rely on it to enhance their short lives.
To learn more, contact Starlight Children’s Foundation, PO Box 4267, Goring, Reading RG8 0AP. Telephone Janet Lindsay or Nikki Fox on 020 7262 2881. Website: www.starlight.org.uk Email: info@starlight.org.uk
AND FINALLY... “the police have clearly gone off and left the scene, leaving us as sitting ducks and I am extremely angry!” You would be mistaken for believing this was the unprotected Peter Mandelson’s reaction to the green custard attack on his Saville Row suit and his dignity. It was in fact the coach to the Sri Lankan national cricket team, following the terrorist attack in Lahore.