AT LAST IT’S ALL OVER. The campaign for London Mayor seemed to go on for ever – like the American Primaries. On radio, television and in the press, our senses were assailed by the three main candidates squabbling like school kids as to who was the best. And right to the last we were kept in suspense as the count dragged on late into the night. At one point I was beginning to think the Zimbabwean presidential result would be out before London’s mayor.
And so we have it; BoJo is anointed King of London and like it or lump it, we are stuck with him for the next four years. I said when he was nominated by the Tories as their candidate that he should not be written off as an apparent buffoon and that behind this façade was a very serious and intelligent politician. Well of course it remains to be seen how well he performs as the new Mayor, but for my part I was pleased to see Ken slink off into the sunset for good. And I believe the high turnout at the polls suggested many others shared my view. If the bicycling Boris doesn’t back-pedal on his promises, we can now look forward to less persecution of London’s council tax payers, less cronyism and sleaze at City Hall, less spiteful campaigns against drivers, less bendy buses, less overseas travel, less propaganda like ‘The Londoner’ newspaper, and above all – LESS CRIME ON LONDON’S STREETS. Time will tell!
JUST ONE QUESTION! Would those who voted for him have done so, if they had known the cruel treatment he inflicted on his children? Giving them such colourful names as Lara Lettice, Milo, Cassia Peaches and Theodore Apollo, should surely be investigated by the NSPCC!
IF I RECALL MY PHYSICS LESSONS CORRECTLY, ‘like poles attract and unlike poles repel’. Well Sidcup Snooker Club appears to be in the latter category in its application to introduce the quaint art of Pole Dancing, as an attempt to revive interest among those of its clientele who have become bored with snookering one another behind the baulk colours.
Having never had the pleasure, so to speak, of attending an exhibition of this form of recreation, I’m not best qualified to comment on its entertainment value, but I find myself asking what all the fuss is about? Surely if we trawl through local history we will find evidence of Sidcup people making merry around a Maypole and enjoying every moment of it. If the only Poles allowed in are to be plumbers, then it will become a very boring place indeed!
IT IS TWENTY ONE YEARS since IKEA invaded our shores and introduced the mystery of flat-pack furniture to d.i.y. enthusiasts. My own baptism of fire was with MFI, who inflicted similar mind-bending challenges on us to test our expertise, patience and sanity. I have been my own worst enemy in that I could never be bothered to read the instruction sheets and those complex diagrams that are completely meaningless to those of us who haven’t received training in technical draughtsmanship and quantum physics. Surely I cannot be the only one to have completed a unit, only to discover that the first panel is the wrong way around – meaning the whole assembly had to be dismantled and started all over again!
Why is it I could never locate the corresponding holes when simply screwing one piece of mdf to another? And why was there always a vital part missing right at the end? Did this mean some lucky customer somewhere had a part to spare? Referring to the diagram was no help when attempting to join Front D to Front E, when you’ve already used Front E somewhere else. And anything joined by dowels was fraught with danger because if you knocked them into the pre-drilled holes too hard, or crooked, it would be impossible to get them out again.
My boyhood experience in constructing model aircraft from Airfix kits was of no help whatsoever. And my Mensa IQ was in fact a drawback when faced with such a conundrum of assorted wood panels and screws. Before commencing you are given a list of tools required, usually a screwdriver, a hammer and a pencil. I would add a strong alcoholic drink to that list.
COUNCIL LEADER IAN CLEMENT has stepped down to take up a position as a deputy mayor of London. We should congratulate him on his rapid rise through the ranks and hope that in his newly elevated post he retains the interests of the people of Bexley. Presumably he will be receiving a handsome salary and perks for this very busy and time-consuming job, so it is pertinent to ask if he will no longer be on Bexley’s payroll? Hopefully Bexley Chronicle will have this answer in time for the next edition.
SOME FRENCH POLITICIANS are still bitter about Paris losing out to London for the 2012 Olympic Games. When they see London’s final bill I think they will see it as a lucky escape. Anyway, they should be satisfied that they have won Carla Bruni as their First Lady.
WHEN THE CHANCELLOR announced the abolition of the 10 per cent income tax rate and a reduction in the next level to 20 per cent, MP’s on both sides of the House erupted in cheers. Yet it didn’t take me long to calculate that this would mean an increase in the tax bill for many low income people. In fact it emerges that more than five million people would be paying more tax as a result. So why has it taken until now, after protests from constituents and the press, for politicians to wake up to this fact? What sickens me is that so many Members of Parliament of all parties didn’t raise any objection at the time. This stinks and begs the question, why do we pay these people huge sums of money if they are unable to monitor what is going on under their very noses? I’m not on the public payroll, but it didn’t take me very long to see through this subterfuge. Bear this in mind next time you are called upon to vote.
GORDON BROWN often refers to being guided by his moral compass for all his thinking and actions. Now wherever you are, your compass will always point North, so what the hell is he doing down here South of the border?
JOHN PRESCOTT (remember him?), has revealed that he allowed bulimia to get on top of him. Was this before, or after his secretary Tracey Temple?
NOT MANY OF YOU WILL KNOW THIS, but the draft proposals for the new Civic Centre in Bexleyheath included a Prayer Room of some 13.5 square metres. I believe this has now sensibly been dropped from the plans. Now call me old-fashioned, but there is a time and place for everything and I don’t expect council staff to be engaging in religious activities when I am paying for them to do their jobs of running the borough. What next? A morning chess club, a daily film show, a weekly fancy dress party? We council tax payers expect its employees to be fully employed in WORK on our behalf. Officers and councillors please note.
WHEN THE BEXLEYHEATH SHOPPING PRECINCT WAS BUILT, together with the adjacent Law Courts, I was one of its biggest critics, comparing this grey concrete monstrosity with Alcatraz. And the gradual deterioration of its façade gives me no reason to change my mind. So it was a rare ray of sunshine and hope when the Woolwich Building Society located its purpose built HQ at the eastern end of the town. This was the finest and most pleasant example of modern architecture to be seen for many miles around and was soon nicknamed ‘The Pagoda’ by locals.
Now, if the mighty Tesco giant gets its way, this will be demolished, which will be vandalism and sacrilege of the highest order. Regrettably, being a fairly new construction it cannot be protected by a preservation order under the Historic Buildings Act, but this doesn’t prevent the residents and supporters of Bexleyheath town rising up in protest against such a destructive move. We seem to be living in an era where supermarkets are more important than hospitals, police stations and post offices and appear to be powerless to do anything about it. May I suggest that now is the time for Bexley and Westminster politicians to win back some of their lost credibility by standing firm against this latest intrusion and prevent it from going any further.
THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE continues to be abused and not only by soccer players and their managers. Radio presenters and tv news readers have a lot to answer for. I’ve covered this subject many times in the past, but my latest targets are “Uni”(for university) and “Man U” (for Manchester United). And unbelievably, the traffic reporters on BBC London Radio just cannot get their tongues around Marylebone, when describing delays in MAR-LEBONE High Street. Lord Reith must be continuously spinning around in his grave.
WHEN THE OLYMPIC FLAME was paraded through London in April, it was escorted by scores of bicycling police officers suitably attired in fluorescent jackets and streamlined headgear. We’ve come a long way since the local bobby pounding away on his Hercules Roadster and wearing the obligatory cycle clips to keep his trouser bottoms from being mangled in the chain.
THE LATEST ARGUMENT over the unfair funding for London boroughs is nothing new. In the 1920’s, Poplar (now part of Tower Hamlets) staged a ratepayers demonstration and the local council refused to pass on its revenues to the Metropolitan Services. This retained money was used for social reform among the poorest residents in what was then London’s poorest district around the docks, railways and small factories in the area. Thirty councillors were imprisoned for six weeks for refusing a Court Order to hand over the money to the authorities. But the revolt gathered widespread public support from neighbouring councils and trades unions and the Court eventually bowed to public pressure and the councillors were released. As a result, this led to large scale municipal relief for the poor and the act of defiance became known as ‘Popularism’.
This all took place in an era when those in public service were public spirited and put their principles before self-preservation. If only those in similar positions today could bring themselves to act on behalf of the people who voted them into office and stood up against central government, instead of just complaining that the grant has been slashed. If this was the case, then we in Bexley might not now be paying the special Olympics levy to satisfy Ken Livingstone’s delusion of power. Obviously our own councillors have learned nothing from history.
BRITISH SCIENTISTS have created the first part-human, part-animal embryo. I thought they already had when John Prescott was conceived!
TEACHERS GOING ON STRIKE doesn’t sit comfortably with their public image of dedicated caring professionals. But I suppose we must respect their ‘right’ to withdraw their labour when they can’t get what they want by intelligent argument. However, I believe parents also have ‘rights’ and should be told what action is being taken to remove the alleged 24,000 failing teachers from their posts?
This is a perfectly reasonable and pertinent question.
READERS OF A CERTAIN AGE who grew up on a diet of Tarzan films will be pleased to learn that Cheeta the chimp is still alive and well at the grand old age of seventy-six. He is enjoying retirement in California, where he spends his days painting and playing the piano. Although Tarzan (Johnny Weissmuller) and Jane (Maureen O’Sullivan) were billed as the stars of these popular films, the REAL star who stole every scene was undoubtedly Cheeta, who would be loudly cheered on by thousands of kids occupying the stalls at Saturday Morning Cinema Clubs all around the country. Good luck to you Cheeta and thank you for giving us so much pleasure on the silver screen.