‘NOT FIT FOR PURPOSE.’ This slogan has entered our modern vocabulary, mainly to describe Government departments, like the Home Office and Ministry of Defence. Now, with the benefit of hindsight and the billions of pounds lost in the collapse of Iceland’s economy, this could be equally applied to those public bodies that unwittingly invested our money in Iceland’s financial institutions.
When I was looking for a suitable home for my own meagre savings way back in March, I was briefly attracted by the high interest rates being offered by Icelandic banks, yet after reading some unsettling reports in the financial press at that time, I formed a judgement that this would have been too risky. We ordinary mortals have been paying privileged officials huge salaries, bonuses and gold-plated pensions, in the belief that they had the skill and experience to handle our affairs better than we could ourselves. It now turns out that this has mistakenly been a very expensive myth. Many have now been exposed as incompetent bluffers who have no more skills in handling finances than the humble pensioners juggling their few pounds between paying the gas bill and shopping around for the cheapest can of beans.
So before we send our gunboats into the very fishy Icelandic waters, let’s identify and kick out all those profligate officials (including the bankers), who have mishandled the funds entrusted to them and tell them there’s no money left in the kitty to pay their inflation-proof gold-plated pensions and they’ll have to rough it with the rest of us.
I understand that we in Bexley have been more fortunate, in that our own funds have been wisely invested closer to home.
ACCORDING TO the Chancellor, we’re all doomed – DOOMED I say. This was the favourite expression of Private Frazer in Dad’s Army. If only we had a Captain Mainwaring to reassure us with words like “come, come now, that sort of talk won’t win us the war; we must all knuckle down together and fight the enemy.” I’m afraid Alastair Darling is no Captain Mainwaring.
FOR THE PAST three decades I have been asking the quite pertinent question – how can our economy survive now we no longer manufacture anything of significance? I could better understand the economics when our factories were buzzing, the steel mills were rolling out tonnes of precious metal; motor vehicles were rolling off the assembly lines in Dagenham, Luton, Coventry and Birmingham; our shipyards had bulging order books commissioning new vessels; the coalfields of Kent, South Wales and Yorkshire were supplying essential black nuggets to our hungry power stations and the docks worked round the clock to turn-around ships laden with exports.
My question was never answered satisfactorily. I was always fobbed off with some esoteric explanation about our so-called hidden exports in banking, finance and insurance, for which we were supposedly renowned as world leaders. The engineers with greasy overalls, the white-coated scientists and the skilled tradesmen with grubby hands, once the backbone of this great country, had given way to the nerds in front of computer screens and the bankers and City whiz kids gambling other people’s money in order to accumulate their own personal fortunes.
Well the result is now clearly our own South Sea Bubble, (which burst in 1720).
And I have my answer at last!
MORE THAN 200,000 Gurkha soldiers have fought for us in two world wars and are still doing so in Iraq and Afghanistan. 45,000 of these exceptionally brave men have given their lives on the battlefields and another 150,000 have been severely wounded. In recognition of so many brave deeds they have been given a record number of twenty-six VC’s and countless other military awards for their unprecedented heroism. These are the men you would want next to you when advancing into unknown territory and facing a dangerous and hostile enemy. Their military experience, especially in jungle warfare is without equal.
It’s no surprise I suppose that the present members of Government are unable to understand, because none of them have had any military experience, or have much interest in their country’s history. They readily allow known terrorists to live among us and pay them and their dependants generous benefits, yet have refused the same hospitality to those brave ex soldiers who seek to live out their retirement in Britain. Some 2,000 of them who served before 1997 have been refused residence here and were forced to take their case to the High Court. This Government that has apologised for Britain’s part in the slave trade some 250 years ago, has been unable to offer the same generosity to those who within living memory have given so much, for so little in return.
I for one am so ashamed of my country now, so let me spell out a clear friendly message to our Gurkha comrades. Don’t bother to seek residence here, because we are not worthy of you and the sacrifices you have made on our behalf. I can assure you that this is no longer the same country you bravely fought for throughout our history. It bears no resemblance to the Britain of the 1940’s, when facing certain defeat we rallied around Winston Churchill and proudly waved the Union Jack without fear or favour, not allowing anyone to prejudice our right to remain patriotic. I regret to inform you that this is now past history and so are you. But there are still a few of us left who remember and thank you for your bravery.
May I suggest you now consider spending your remaining days in Australia, where you will be appreciated and made very welcome.
THE SURPRISE ELECTION of Boris Johnson as London Mayor brought much criticism and his appointment was considered by some a five minute wonder. He was variously described as the joker in the pack and a lightweight political leader. I cautioned at the time that we should not jump to instant conclusions and that he was a more serious politician than he sometimes appeared. He’s certainly been a live wire at City Hall and has swept away a few expensive cobwebs and extravagant practices that have cost the London taxpayer dearly in the past.
Who’d have thought that in his first year of tenure he would have been instrumental in removing the unpopular and accident-prone Met. Commissioner Sir Ian Blair – with a sleight of hand that fooled those around him, especially the inept Home Secretary. The joke is now well and truly on those who gleefully predicted his own downfall before he had the opportunity of proving himself. His misleading demeanour will survive long after he has wiped the smirk from the faces of his detractors.
MORE THAN £1 MILLION a week of taxpayers money is spent by the Government on focus groups, surveys and opinion polls, to find out what voters think? Couldn’t they just hold a good old-fashioned General Election, like we used to have before the current Prime Minister decided to abolish them. Democracy appears to have no place in New Labour, a fact clearly illustrated by Peter Mandelson being parachuted into government for a third time and given a seat in the House of Lords. To think this was once the party of the working classes!
AS MUCH AS I try to be sympathetic towards teachers, it is increasingly difficult when the antics of some of them beggars belief. Take the example of two schools that recently closed down and sent the children home so the staff could go on an overseas jolly – all in the interests of education you understand.
First, a Stoke-on-Trent technology college had planned to close for two days so that the staff could fly to Marbella for what was described as a training session. Fortunately (but not for them) the press found out in advance and the furore that followed resulted in a quick volte- face and the trip was cancelled. Then just a few days later a primary school in Oldham was shut down on a Friday, so that its teachers could fly-off to Barcelona. The headmaster, who like so many public employees obviously doesn’t live in the real world, said “the trip had been designed to enhance creative teaching and cultural awareness.” Just imagine how well this went down with the parents who had to make alternative arrangements for their children and the council tax payers who had to foot the bill.
I appreciate that teachers are in the front line and face a new meaning of ‘Class Warfare’ and their rôle is now little more than crowd control. So I can truly empathise with them – but when they blatantly turn their backs and fly off into the sunset in the pretence that it is legitimate training, then I lose patience with them. I have never understood anyway, why they are given four days off each year for training, in addition to their thirteen weeks annual holiday. Didn’t they complete their course at college like other professionals do?
HIGH TAXES pay for gold-plated, index-linked early retirement pensions for public sector employees who actually contribute NOTHING to the economy. The Chancellor informs us that the economic situation is now the worst for eighty years – as if we needed reminding. Perhaps it would be better if he directed this dire warning at the local authorities, who don’t appear to have got the message. Oh yes, they have introduced such cost-cutting exercises as stopping meals on wheels and home help for the elderly; missing out weekly waste collections; ignoring weed infested broken pavements, switching off street lamps and also increasing parking charges. But these savings appear to be funding officers exorbitant salaries, rather than increasing efficiency and reducing the council tax burden.
Irresponsible councils continue to ignore the plight of their residents, many who are faced with a winter of discontent, starvation and abject misery. Yet they continue to pay breathtakingly high salaries for ‘non jobs’ that civilisation has managed quite well without until now. Jobs like Sexual Exploitation Team Manager (£36,000), Head of Sustainability (£47,000), Director of Stable Forward Thinking (a six figure package), Diversity Managers (£50,000), Transformation Service Director (£90,000) and Director of the Leicester Lesbian Gay Bisexual Centre (£31,606). This sounds like an ideal job for a schizophrenic quick-change artiste! There are many, many more positions on offer like these and it doesn’t stop at the salary. These posts will carry other benefits such as index-linked pensions (at 60, or earlier), a car, private health insurance, guaranteed sick pay, subsidised meals, and often a personal assistant. In the very same week it is reported that a massive cut back in public sector jobs is planned, the Guardian newspaper devoted thirty of its pages to the ‘non jobs’ I have described. And the Times carried this advert: Wanted: Bank of England Deputy Governor for Financial Stability (£240,000). I wonder if the previous one committed hara-kiri?
It’s another world away from the private sector where companies are desperate to survive and avoid making employees redundant. There’s very little chance of being laid off from the town hall (unless you are a manual worker) and you’d have to do something extremely serious like vandalising the mayor’s car to get the sack. And even then, it’s likely the Civil Service unions would fight to have you reinstated or receive a handsome pay-off by courtesy of the local tax payers.
Noel Coward should have advised ‘Don’t put your daughter on the stage Mrs. Worthington – get her a job on the local council.’
SCOTLAND FOR UTOPIA! Prescription charges to be axed by 2011, free eye care and dental check-ups for all, free access to life saving drugs, hospital car parking fees scrapped, free care homes for the elderly, no up-front university fees and council tax to be abolished in favour of a fairer local income tax – taking 85,000 pensioners and low paid out of the system.
They are able to achieve all this because we mugs south of the border donate £30 billion a year to the Scottish Parliament. Climate apart, I can see Scotland replacing Spain as our favourite emigration destination in the future. For my own part, just to get rid of the unfair and iniquitous council tax could tempt me across the border. I’d overlook the fact that the men wear skirts and sprinkle salt on their porridge.