IT WAS A SAD SIGHT, witnessing employees from a large financial institution leaving the building for the last time, carrying their personal possessions in cardboard boxes. But somehow it was difficult to feel too much sympathy on this occasion. Many had been instrumental in the demise of their company, having for the past decade enjoyed ridiculously high salaries and unbelievable bonuses which alone far exceeded the average worker’s annual wage. I’ll resist calling them greedy, because this was the accepted ‘norm’ in the fantasy financial world of banking. And now we all have to pay the price for their voracity.
This was the ‘now’ generation, the city slickers who worked hard and played hard, and it’s a fair bet that millions have been spent on big houses, sporty cars, exotic holidays and a hedonistic life-style – with little thought for a future rainy day. But that future has now arrived in a tsunami size proportion. And the irony is that it will now be the ordinary workers scraping a meagre living who will have to support these highly-rewarded, Porsche-driving, now unemployed city traders, through their taxes. Personally I feel more sorry for myself, having seen a large chunk of my investments disappear and no Lamborghini to show for it. But then, who ever said life was fair?
WAR ON CAPITALISM ! Now here’s a thought. Could it be possible that a new and more subtle form of terrorism is behind the collapse of the American banking system and its knock-on effect in Britain? It’s an accepted fact that stock markets are directly influenced by confidence and fear, so how difficult would it be for a terrorist organisation to spread false rumours in the vulnerable world of finance that would have an instant effect on share dealing and the world markets? It’s far less messy than flying aircraft into tall buildings, but could have a devastating effect on the western world and civilisation as we know it.
IT DEPENDS HOW YOU READ IT? The Conservatives Newsletter in September opens with exactly the following paragraph: “David Evennett continued to raise constituents’ concerns about knife crime and antisocial behaviour in Parliament.”
This may have been incorrectly phrased and punctuated, but it’s reassuring that our own MP publicly recognises the antisocial habits of his colleagues and confirms that the knives are out for Gordon.
THE COLLAPSE OF a major airline saw thousands of holidaymakers stranded abroad and many others having their flights cancelled. The industry quickly rallied round in the spirit of Dunkirk and organised a rescue mission to bring people back home, but all these selfish ungrateful travellers could do was to complain to staff about the way they had been treated. Not one of them gave a thought for the employees of the failed airline who had lost their jobs overnight, yet still returned to their posts to assist in the emergency.
This is symptomatic of the ME, ME, ME society we have become, that doesn’t give a damn about others, as long as they are not inconvenienced and get their holiday in the sun. They might now give some thought to fellow Brits, many of whom will soon be forced into choosing between eating and heating. But I doubt it. The only positive thing to come out of this is that cut-price air travel will become history and instead of visiting Disneyland, the kids will have to be satisfied with a trip to London Zoo. I’m sure it won’t do them any harm and their selfish parents will have to get used to a fake tan out of a jar.
A LORRY DRIVER caught up in the Channel Tunnel fire told reporters he thought he was going to die. Well now he knows how we motorists feel when being tailgated by his mates on the M25.
A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO I received a take-it-or-leave-it letter from my NHS dentist informing me that from now on I was a private patient and expected to pay the exorbitant fees on his enclosed price list. I reluctantly accepted his kind Mafia-like invitation – because the last people you want to get on the wrong side of are your dentist and your bank manager.
Now I see the Hungarians are offering a lifeline – an alternative to us pulling out our own teeth using string and doorknobs. An enterprising group of qualified dental practitioners from Eastern Europe are to tour Britain in an inflatable surgery, with the offer of half price instant relief to our impoverished people. I would issue these dentists a friendly word of warning before they set up camp on these shores. Watch out for council jobsworths who now have powers invested in them to move you on, or slap a ticket on your tent for illegal parking. Then beware of Hoodies wearing our national costume and wielding sharp objects, which can obviously do serious harm to your inflatable tent. And you run a real risk of encountering Health & Safety snoopers who may enter your bouncy castle without warning and demand to see your paperwork and issue you with reams of directives and forms that are essential to carrying out an extraction, or root canal treatment.
You will be required to display a Mission Statement and Public Liability Insurance Certificate, but this might be a little tricky, given the flimsy nature of your surgery walls and the risk of instant deflation. It will also be necessary to liaise with the local Constabulary regarding crowd control when the inevitable queues line the streets for some half-price treatment. The last time anything like this happened was when Billy Smarts Circus came to town, in the good old days when dental treatment was available to all on the NHS.
YET ANOTHER GIMMICK from the Education Secretary. All eleven year old schoolchildren are being issued with a cookery book, to combat obesity in the young. Would it not be more effective and cheaper to reinstate morning assembly in schools, where the children carry out thirty minutes of healthy exercise!
BE AFRAID – BE VERY AFRAID. At a time when we no longer know who to trust, least of all senior politicians, we could once rely on the police as a bastion of integrity, fairness, neutrality and trust. But can we still believe this with the antics now going on inside Scotland Yard?
There appears to be an underlying conspiracy in the guise of racism to oust the Commissioner Sir Ian Blair, who for all his faults, I believe is a decent individual. Indeed, his attempts to be even-handed and introduce diversity to the Yard have been seen as a weakness by some who view him as a soft target. His enemies appear to be mostly from ethnic backgrounds and represented by the Black Police Association, which is itself so blatantly divisive that it must surely contravene all the rules on race discrimination. Yet no-one in authority has the courage to disband it –ignoring the views or feelings of the vast majority of white officers. It can be no mere coincidence that so many senior ranks are emerging to claim racial discrimination against their boss.
Taking Sir Ian out of the equation - which is apparently the intention, it seems these people are hell-bent on undermining the very fabric of our police service by replacing him and other senior officers with their own sympathisers. This would not only be a very bad day for the police, but for the very essence of British society. The result would be civil unrest like we have yet to see.
Could there be yet another link here to a subtle terrorist plan to destabilize the very backbone of our society, which I have already suggested might be behind the banking collapse? What an excellent target the country’s largest police force would make.
Everyone must stop using colour and ethnicity as an excuse for their actions – and the quicker the better. I believe Sir Ian Blair has to be the last person on Earth to allow a candidate’s colour to influence him when considering a senior promotion. He wouldn’t dare, even if he privately wanted to. These sad losers have to accept that it is in everyone’s interest that the most able candidate for the job is selected, without fear or favour. And dare I say it, be grateful for having been given the opportunity in life that thousands more of us haven’t.
WE ARE CERTAINLY DUE FOR SOME GOOD NEWS. The report that a four year old Italian girl who went missing in 2004 has been found safe and well, must bring fresh hope to the McCann’s. Let us all pray that Madeleine is found soon in similar circumstances.
HELP ! I don’t have cavity walls, my loft is insulated, the windows are all double-glazed, a new boiler was installed recently, all rooms have individual thermostats, the master thermostat is set at 58º and I’ve invested in some heavy-knit jumpers. So how is the Government’s offer to reduce energy bills going to help me?
The fact is of course, it isn’t. Because as fast as I reduce my consumption of gas, electricity and water - the utility companies will put up their prices. It stands to reason, the less we use, the smaller their profits – so they must charge more to compensate and keep the chief executive and shareholders happy.
A thought! If only it was possible to harness all the hot air spouted by politicians and union leaders and have it piped into our homes during the winter months, there would be no need for loft lagging, or cavity wall filling.
THIS YEAR’S ‘LAST NIGHT OF THE PROMS’ had a special significance I believe. It occurred to me that this might be the last time we will be allowed to congregate to sing ‘Land of Hope and Glory’ and wave the Union Jack, without being arrested.
WE ARE FACING a long hard deep recession. Major financial institutions are going bust, many thousands are facing the sack, others are seeing their pensions decimated, homes are being repossessed and this winter could see elderly people succumbing to hypothermia. And we are unable to punish those intent on blowing us up, but continue to live among us, enjoying our hospitality and benefits.
This is Great Britain in 2008. And yet this doesn’t prevent our well-heeled so-called public servants from twisting the knife and further denting the morale of an already demoralised population. Their latest action in this period of turmoil and misery is to threaten householders with a bin tax for removing their non-recyclable rubbish – and to double the fine for not wearing a car seat belt. In retrospect, Hitler and Stalin weren’t so bad after all!
PREPARE TO BE BORED STIFF between now and November, when the Americans finally choose their leader. We are supposed to be transfixed by the possibility that a black couple could be taking up residence in the White House. This couple are wealthy, well educated lawyers, (now where have we seen this before?). Yes – the Clinton’s in Number One Pennsylvania Avenue and the Blair’s in Number Ten Downing Street. In both cases, the electorate were expected to be fooled by their constant references to very humble origins and poor circumstances, just like the Barack Obama’s who have the additional kudos of supposedly coming from the black underclass of America.
Personally, I couldn’t care less who wins this particular race, although I imagine Gordon Brown is somewhat relieved that it is taking the spotlight away from him and giving him a brief respite from his beleaguered position here in the UK.
DAVID BECKHAM (remember him?), has been paid a ridiculous £1 million a year for the past six years – not for kicking a football, but merely for wearing a particular brand of sunglasses. At the end of his contract, his response was “It was never a big payer anyway.” No David, neither is street cleaning, bus driving, repairing tv sets and working in McDonalds, but someone has to do it.
HOW DO YOU DEFINE BAD LUCK? Take this example of the author of ‘100 Things To Do Before You Die.’ David Freeman had reached barely half way in his research when he died in a freak accident at his home at the premature age of 47. Now that’s what I REALLY call bad luck.